fallout

so the realization of my actual weight hit me hard mentally. Up until the past year, my highest weight ever in my life has been right around 150. As I began putting on more weight this fall and was struggling dealing with life in general and eating out of stress, I knew I had solidly surpassed 150, but decided that 160 would be my limit. So as I saw myself arriving awfully close to that 160, I was capable of making efforts to stop the increase and I hovered near that number for a few months, before deciding to dig down and get serious about losing some weight. Imagine how defeated I felt as I began to lose weight and then find out that when I had solidly surpassed 150, I had actually surpassed 160. And when I was awfully close to 160, I had actually been close to 170. I believe the miscalculation culprit is a throw rug that I put down in my bathroom and then put the scale on top of that. Previously the scale had sat firmly on the tile floor. I know between September and November I wasn't paying much attention to my weight and I think that's the same time period when I added the throw rug. For the past couple weeks, I've abandoned dieting completely and sulked in frustration, convinced that had I known I was going beyond 160 at the time, I would have curbed eating habits right then and there. There's just something psychologically, back-breaking to me about being beyond 160. And thinking about the amount of extra work involved in losing that additional 9lbs is just discouraging.