year end reflections

all-in-all I suppose I should keep my head up. Last year at this time I had put on roughly 15-20 pounds in a period of 4 months and was not going anywhere positively with respect to eating or exercise habits. Through the first three-quarters of this year, I only added another 5 lbs, which comparatively is a kind of success, sort of. This year marks the first calendar year of my life that I have spent unarguably overweight. Throughout adolescence and adulthood I've fluctuated between a good healthy weight and having extra 5-10 pounds, but never, prior to the end of 2007, did I pass into 15+ lbs overwieght and then moved right on up to an all time high of 35-40 lbs overwieght. And you know what? I am just plain tired of being out of shape!! It quite sucks, as in - no fun at all. I miss being able to enjoy physical activity. BUT, I have lost a couple pounds the last couple months. My graduate schooling was completed in mid-August, my general life stress level has decreased significantly and my mental outlook has improved. I did gut out a couple 1/2 marathons this past year with much more mental insanity than physical fitness and I'm registered to run a marathon in 4 months. I've actually printed out a generic marathon training plan to get me, at least, minimally prepared (which would be tons more prepared than the past two half-marathons) and I have actually followed the training plan for a whole week now :) There has been a mental shift with regards to exercising and eating better. For most of this year I've been telling myself I need to do this, I need to do that, I should be doing this or that, but it's all felt like drudgery and guilt. Lately however, I am starting to feel an actual desire to exercise and eat better. It's so much easier to do things when you want to do them. Now if I could just figure out what leads to the existence of the want, I could probably make a whole lot of money selling it. For now, I'm hoping to ride the want wave long enough to make exercise and healthy eating everyday personal habits. My birthday is in the middle of the year and I've set a goal to be back to a healthy, fit me by then. Wish me luck...